“Homo Normalis” (2018 - on-going series)

“ If the self is a story, then the story the Western self wants to tell is one of progress. Reality is chaos, chance and injustice, our future is illness, bereavement and death. All about us there is terrifying change, and there’s little we can do to manage it. But our sense of self hides this disturbing fact from us. It leads us to believe we’re heroes, captaining the plots of our lives. We’re John Pridmore fighting Satan, we’re Fritz Pearls fighting Freud, we’re Ayn Rand fighting the altruists, we’re John Vasconcellos fighting the media cynics, we’re Dan Faber fighting to one day dig the iron out of asteroids. It’s when we lose the fight of our lives and keep on losing that we become stuck and humiliated, broken heroes, enemies of our evermore demanding culture. Then the story that is self starts to fail. It begins to creak and crack as the actual truth of what it is to be a living human presses in on it.”

- Selfie, Will Storr

Every day since January the 1st 2018 I’ve been taking one single Polaroid photograph of myself. It started as an exercise in honesty. Honesty towards myself. I have a one shot per day and I’ve been curious how I’m gonna approach it and react to it. If the photograph goes wrong (and there are myriad of ways how it can happen so) it stays that way and I have to live with it.
But am I really able to face my own awful expressions, unflattering angles and also accept that my skills are not always technically perfect or that the photo itself is not really interesting and can be just plain stupid?

Each photograph is unplanned and I go thru the day until something catches my attention and I decide that this is the exact right moment to take a picture. Later on in the evenings I try to reflect upon this in my (black) diary where I often sum up the day and mood.
After three months this new ritual really became my natural daily habit and fully integrated into my life like eating, sleeping and so on.
There are times when I can’t think of anything, don’t feel any inspiration or impulse, I’m very busy or tired, or ill… and yet I have to take a picture. And I do take a picture. It is a learning process, “not giving a fuck”, letting go, as so many people now are carefully trying to curate their online lives and selves. 

“Homo Normalis” is a project about how to turn one of my biggest disadvantages and struggles into something that would enable me to recognise patterns of my behaviours, and to integrate and turn them into something I could understand, process and learn to know (about) myself and others.

(Below is a little excerpt from 300+ photographs)